Many of us strive to achieve great things and also believe that happiness can be found once we have achieved it. Some might think, if I get that promotion, that car or that house, they would have found the happiness that they are seeking to get over the lousy feeling they are currently feeling.
Not really and this is why.
Krishanmurti whose book, "Think on these things" appears to have rightly pointed out that happiness cannot be "found". This is because happiness is a by product of meaning that occurs in the absence of fear and to even speak of seeking happiness indicates that we are currently not as happy as we should be and experiencing some kind of unhappiness.
Life happens in moments when we are lost in doing what we do in our environment and the tasks we set out to do. Most of the time, we are not really concerned about achieving happiness, achieving our goals and ambitions.
Think of it this way, it can be truly difficult for a person to truly be loved if he thinks only about what he should do to be loved, seek the approval from others and why people should love him for the display of skills he has. I would imagine that people love us not because of what we keep doing for them, being useful to them and exceedingly selfless towards them, people love us because of who we are and what we do as part of our nature, not behind a mask. When one begins to seek love and happiness on purpose by showing what others want to see in them that they themselves are not, how can true happiness and love ever happen behind a web of lies?
People can sense if you are sincere or not
Respect the intelligence of people, people can sense and determine quite accurately whether someone is trying to win favours or just being themselves. If they can’t, time will tell in the end. For people who imposed themselves on others all the time, while they may ultimately obtain the other party’s attention, what they have received in the end is likely to be gratitude rather than love itself.
Love, as happiness, cannot be sought and found on purpose just like happiness. When the person finally discovered this about himself, he might feel shallow and insecure, because in the pursuit for love and happiness, he had lost his true self and become someone else. A leopard never changes its spots, it just hides in the grass as camouflage. It has to come out someday to reveal itself and everyone will see the leopard, not the formless empty shadow.
If you have been there or even suspect that you might be at this stage of your life, that is all right, many of us move in and out of this phase throughout our lives, seeking to find what is our true self as remarkable men throughout history have also joined us in this journey of self discovery of our true self.
What is important is to realize that we recognize that our thoughts are constantly changing and only the naive would think that their beliefs in life would stay firmly affixed through our lives, situations seem to never fail to occur to rock our foundations, the true value of knowing this is in that we can then live at peace with ourselves at being the best we can at being ourselves, not to behave in contradiction to what we know we are obviously not.
Some people might go through their lives being someone they are not and gaining the admiration from others in the process but deep down inside themselves, they feel empty, empty because they know that they are wearing a mask which betrayed themselves of who they really are.
Don’t be that someone else.
Be yourself.
And in the process of becoming yourself, happiness and love that you truly deserve and respectfully gain will be yours with a smile on your face and a heart that is at ease with yourself.
Summary
The true measure of a person are the things he do and say when he knows it is impossible that anyone will ever find out.
Be true to yourself, be who you are and never stop improving on becoming a better you through lessons from others which you adapt for yourself by your own principles and values.
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Fantastic post. This is exactly why I closed my last business and started what I’m doing now. Discovering yourself often has little to do with your career. I think this is a good point that is often overlooked. Probably because it’s more ethereal in nature. We like things to be concrete and measurable. Happiness, peace and the like just don’t fit into our analytical minds, which is probably why we have so little of them.
Christian’s last blog post..My Take on “Diversification”
‘Be yourself is GOOD’ although I don’t fully agree with the statement that you can’t “find love on purpose”. Because although there’s no guarantee you’d find happiness, there are ways to self-boost happiness and to improve that chance.
For example, improving your mentality, improving your own knowledge and even learning how to appreciate or improve your looks – all can do wonders, and is ‘step one’ in attracting others (LIKE YOURSELF) to you. [I think "moderation" is the key cos one can get addicted to ONE THING alone (like women/men who keep going for plastic surgery). I've met people who do nothing but chase degree after degree - you can get too "focused" in one thing and be lost in the 'whole big picture'.]
When you look forward to finding happiness, you’re more likely to find it as compared to “refusing” to find it. You just have to be aware of your surroundings.
Eg. if a property agent waked up, showered and started surfing the internet or checking emails (or doing some work around his house), he’s more likely to be enthusiastic about that one appointment (and getting it) than if he just laid around in bed waiting for that important appointment phone call.
The laws of attraction are pretty similiar to laws of reciprocity.
Of course this is just my personal opinion. I do not know if you or others agree or have another perspective to all these. Keep writing! Your blog rocks!
kelly’s last blog post..How to Earn Money Getting Others’ Videos
@Christian: Thanks! It’s great to see that we have experienced some things in common.
@Kelly: I agree with you on your point on the laws of reciprocity. In another words, good karma :) Thank you Kelly. Will be looking out for you *Winks*
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